Mwahahaha

To: manager of Giant Evil Corporation store #3060

I have been offered an acceptable amount of hours per week by another employer, Organic Local Good Food Store, with whom I would like to pursue longer-term employment.

Unfortunately, Giant Evil Corporation and my new employer Organic Local Good Food Store, have irrevocably conflicting schedules and you're assholes who don't pay attention to days on which I am unavailable. Due to this, I must regrettably (happily) tender my resignation of the position of evil minion for Giant Evil Corporation.

I Respectfully Request that my final work date be Saturday the 26th of May, 2007. I realize this is several days short of two weeks but suck it up, but I have mandatory attendance after this date at my new workplace, Organic Local Good Food Store.

In closing, I would like to curse thank the Giant Evil Corporation staff and management for the opportunity to sell my soul gain work experience as an evil minion of Giant Evil Corporation.

Sincerely,
Wooly Two-shoes

P.S. I want my soul back, thnx.

The stuff in italics is what I didn't put in my letter, but should have.