Friday, May 18, 2007


I got tagged with a seven things meme, but have decided to alter it to Seven Rules I live by.

1 - If you're anywhere near anything that a skunk has been near, shower and change your clothes, no matter how late you'll be.

2 - Practice safe eating; always use condiments.

3 - Equality is a moral principle, not an assertion of fact.

4 - Om tara tutare ture soha

5 - Never be friends with anyone who has to promise not to kill you.

6 - I am the constant in every relationship that has failed.

7 - When the world laughs at you, laugh back. It's just as funny as you are.

Done smelling skunk and bastardizing meme's for the evening. Wooly Two-Shoes, signing out.

Remember that time I went to dance class smelling like skunk?

So the Idiot-Dog walked outside, scared a skunk right outside the front door. Got sprayed in the face. runs back inside, and he must have drooled on my pantleg without me seeing. I dragged him outside careful not to let him touch me, and tied him up.

Unfortunately, everything within fifty feet stank, and I didn't notice, that I too stank. I did not in fact notice, until I got to class, since I figured my senses were overpowered by skunk. I tried in vain to get the smell out with baking soda and water, to no avail. Also, stank up the entire beginner class.

Run away to the outside, call home.
"Hi, mom?"
"I really need you to bring me some new clothes, I stink."
"but I'm hungry!"
"but I reek!"
I did get new clothes, and it seemed to make most of the smell go away. I think by that time I was down to heavily-stoned scent level. Yeah, sorry to my salsa partners. Although the teacher did in sympathy tell me of the time he got skunked before going into a movie theatre.

So I came home, and de-skunkified myself in a bath of soap, hydrogen peroxide, and baking soda. After I got out, I added a whole bunch more and took it in buckets outside to dump on the dog.

Remember that time I went to dance class with skunk on me? I do.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007


To: manager of Giant Evil Corporation store #3060

I have been offered an acceptable amount of hours per week by another employer, Organic Local Good Food Store, with whom I would like to pursue longer-term employment.

Unfortunately, Giant Evil Corporation and my new employer Organic Local Good Food Store, have irrevocably conflicting schedules and you're assholes who don't pay attention to days on which I am unavailable. Due to this, I must regrettably (happily) tender my resignation of the position of evil minion for Giant Evil Corporation.

I Respectfully Request that my final work date be Saturday the 26th of May, 2007. I realize this is several days short of two weeks but suck it up, but I have mandatory attendance after this date at my new workplace, Organic Local Good Food Store.

In closing, I would like to curse thank the Giant Evil Corporation staff and management for the opportunity to sell my soul gain work experience as an evil minion of Giant Evil Corporation.

Wooly Two-shoes

P.S. I want my soul back, thnx.

The stuff in italics is what I didn't put in my letter, but should have.

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Spin me a moth

A little while ago I participated in a french-based exchange called Spin me a Treasure. I recieved some lovely mohair/tencel yarn from a Texan Spinner, but never made anything with it in the three month probationary contest period. My pal, however, presented a dilemma. She said she'd never experienced non-scratchy alpaca. Now, I'm not sure what kind of alpacas they have in La Suisse, but I was determined to change her mind. After I thought about it for a few moments, I grabbed my lowest micron Suri fleece, and set to work.

I sent her around 250 yards of laceweight beige yarn, and she wrote back to tell me that it did not itch her at all. Which left me pleased as punch. Now, this fleece was the second shearing off of a particularly lustrous alpaca by the name of Almond Rocca, from Sahalie Suris. Anyway, these are the picture of the finished item she made (because she did participate in the contest). I present, Midian's Wing of the Moth shawlette:

KnitBloggers : forcing their animals to sit still since at least 2001.


So I got my 2nd Spackage from my pal a little while ago, and it was truly wonderful. It arrived on a not so good day, and was truly a highlight. I would have posted sooner, but blogger appears to have issues with WORKING. So, you know. Here we have Magazine (it came with wooden needles...they're somewhere), Cupcake notebook (my pal has a thing for cupcakes...who knew?), some jewelry, there was also a very neat hair vice, it escapes me. and Les Pieces de Resistance : A beret in LL Cedar, white angora roving (!), and the other is camel/silk (!!).

My pal dearly wishes she had a dog, but her husband thinks this is certain evidence for an insanity plea. So I had Coda model the Beret (also I don't photograph well with hats, no idea why).

Other things of note : sheep pie. They kinda look like alpacas to me though. Don't worry though, the filling is spicy apple/pear. Not really spicy, I just like to add some chilis to my normal apple pies for interest.

Also, Chicken.

(around here they're bigger than most horses)